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Tag Archives: Net a porter

Cool Down!

Cool down!

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January and February are two of the most dangerous months of the year, and I don't only mean that in terms of forgetting all matters of styling due to cold (confession: am basically living in ski-underwear and thermo shirts, please don't tell anybody...). It's also the final days of HEEL SALE everywhere (aka the biggest temptation to slaughter the piggybank mercilessly).

Have done so numerous times already (got a plastic piggy bank now: shards are so annoying) and have now limited diet to potatoes (note: save money on the unimportant (aka food) to invest in the utterly important (heels)) but there are still so many cuties out there waiting to be rescued (screaming -70%, -50%, -30%) that it makes my mind spin and the (plastic AND empty) piggy quiver whenever I look at it.

Wrote Mahatma Gandhi quote in big letters over bed: "You only become rich by the goods you do not desire", but *sigh* immediately crossed out "not" and went straight to Net-a-porter site. HELP! Somebody needs to cool down! *Ooooooooooohm*.

xxx

Today's shoes are Alisha

If Life Gives You Lemons…

If Life Gives You Lemons...

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Things could be worse, I know, but being sick is a) not very original (everyone seems to be at the moment), and b) always a pain. Especially when you just got back home from a trip and are finally reunited with BF (a week apart: imagine how much we have to catch up on!) and were totally ready for action (aka normal life, aka start hunting for new heels) but *bam* none of that.

Not having written a single "Thank you" email to my friends and family, or any email to my clients who are eagerly waiting for me to pick up my pen and get to work, I am instead hanging in bed feeling miserable. Energy is so low I can barely manage to watch "The Big Lebowsky" (in GERMAN!), even pushing keys to open "heeling" site Net-a-porter seems way too much effort. *Sigh* Not my favorite I must confess, and the only good thing about today is that I've found a way to shoot parallel from above without any help (clamping camera in clothes rack does the trick).

Philosophy of the day: If life gives you lemons, make Limoncello (read: put on some nice heels, shoot them and stop whining). Perfect tip! Am in need of some vitamin C anyway.

xxx

Today's shoes are Karen Millen

The Good Wife

The Good Wive

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With BF in the house again, am eager to spoil and ready to be a good wife. Pleasing my dearest with proper meal is on the menu, and since I am as much foodie as I am shoemanic (well, almost equally) and study a recipe with as much attention as I would net-a-porter, am daring to dive into the holy grail of sophisticated cooking: Julia Child's cookbook.

The poached egg it will be tonight, served with asparagus and truffles, and under Mrs. C's guidance (haha, it's EGGS, aka cooking for dummies), am sure to impress and shine by cooking up a 4-star heaven. How difficult could it be to let a raw egg slide into boiling water anyway?

Well ladies, 30 eggs, a stiff arm from twirling water with vinegar (awful smell in the house now), and a garbage bin full of something looking like a universe of exploded egg supernovas later, am now back to studying net-a-porter (100% positive to at least succeed there).
Oh, the dinner! Yeah... you know: nothing better than good old fried eggs with spinach and potato... Julia who?
xxx

Today's shoes are Carvela

Tim Walker’s Nightmare

Tim Walker’s Nightmare

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Tim Walker has always been one of my favorite photographers and since I couldn’t sleep yesterday (blame it on the excitement of my recent Net-A-Porter purchase) I was browsing his work online. Somehow dozing off over the magical, dreamy work he’s created, sucked into flower fields, cupcake trees and balloon-filled huge ceilings, I am not surprised when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s Coco Rocha dressed up as Donnie Darko whispering: you should come to our room, we have a party going on. Intrigued, I follow her through a small corridor with open doors, allowing me to peek into the small rooms as we pass.
I spot Mozart in one, singing along to piano tunes (he is wearing next season Louis Vuitton, the bastard) and Tom Ford in another (he is wearing high heels: no surprise). Coco, sporting a dream of pinkish couture, leads me to another tiny room, that I reckon is the 7 1/2 floor from Being John Malkovich, where Tom Robbins greets us with the words: “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood!”

Someone hands me a bunch of carrots to use as a microfon for a karaoke session, and before I know it I am dancing on a small French bed with Coco, Tom (one), Tom (two) and Amadeus, all wearing animal masks to “I believe I can fly”. If this is Eyes Wide Shut, I so don’t want to open them ever again.

Am in the middle of a pillow fight with everybody, giggling like little children, when I wake up, head on keyboard and a feather boa around my neck.
This is either Tim Walker’s nightmare, or I so shouldn’t stop drinking.

xxx

P.S.: Today’s shoes are Kallisté

La dolce Visa

La dolce Visa

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I think everybody got it by now: am a shoe-oholic, and therefore behave weirdly (think mixture of irresponsible and crazy) when it comes to all things made of leather with a heel attached. This morning I almost fainted over my laptop as I browsed Net a Porter (last days of Sale) and stumbled upon the cutest Brian Atwood heels: 70! %! off!!!!! No way, really? MUST ! HAVE ! Only one small problem occurred while super-excitedly adding cuties to basket and proceeding to checkout: am not in the possession of VISA (or any other plastic card devices, except maybe the one discount supermarket card) and boyfriend is stuck in a recording session (aka unreachable).

Aaaaaaaah! Major meltdown. 100% positive it’s the last pair and will be gone in a split second. Seeing my “la dolce Atwood’s slip away, am actually tempted to squeeze a tear on empty checkout basket.

In my shoe-hysteria (not giving up easily), I did what every other gal in a heel emergency would do: call a man of your confidence. Schöner Mann was busy with guy things (garage, car, screws) and almost laughed his a*s off as I frantically told him about my urgent matter. Stuttering “I die if I can’t have them” and “state affair of utter importance” he understood, and Ha! helped me out. So sweet! Shoe day made, time to celebrate!

One thing is certain (other than that I will be bouncing off the walls when my parcel arrives): Schöner Mann is the best (shoe) friend on earth. And I really have to get my own VISA.

xxx

Today’s shoes are ZARA

Trend fever: Tribal

Trend fever: Tribal

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The “add to shopping bag” button on net-a-porter is something that can only be described as the fashion (or shoe) “G-spot” for ladies. If you click it: instant happiness.

Having browsed the site all morning for inspiration I instantly fall in love with Burberry’s beaded leather sandal and am more than tempted to just add it to my shopping bag..
But hold on! Easy now, easy… Today I am the out-of-the- (net-a-porter) box thinker, the bold investor, the bargain hunter.

The tribal trend will be my motto, this 650 EUR pairs of heels will serve as my example, and I WILL find something similarly striking on a budget.
Totally determined - I head for the most popular place in Amsterdam that I can think of for grabbing a pair of couture rip-offs: the Kalverstraat.

Pushing my way through herds of sweaty tourists and peroxide blonde ladies (with very long and very French manicured nails), I am just about to give up, head straight home and just buy those (f***) Burberry heels at the original price, when I spot my (shoe-bitch on a budget) rescue: Steve Madden.

Oh THAT heel will do! After scratching a promotion lot (hell yeah, I am taking this seriously!) I get a 20% discount and score 3 beaded necklaces two doors further, spending the rest of the day fiddling them accurately on my new friends.

Tribal day made, shoe G-spot totally satisfied.

xxx

P.S. Today’s shoes are Steve Madden

Congratulations on winning the lottery!

Congratulations on winning the lottery!

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I have been fantasizing about it forever, and I am sure so have you. Winning the lottery: oh dear! Don’t even get me started. What would you do with that huge amount of money which would allow you to live concern-less-ly ever after? I have spent countless nights and days working out the ultimate master plan.

Obviously, I will book the most expensive suite in a luxurious hotel and surprise boyfriend (I will look very dramatic and stylish when breaking the news). We will order vintage champagne and celebrate all night… In my case this means locking myself behind the computer and making net-a-porter run out of (shoe) stock for the first time in history, giggling when my (by then platinum) credit card literally burns. Then buy a huge house (furnished only with Italian brands, not Swedish), give money to my friends and family, invest the rest (in net-a-porter again), and travel the world.

And I can’t believe it!!!! Today is that very day.
I just received a letter from the national lottery office!
It’s embossed in gold and announces officially:

“Dear Mrs. Mueller!
We congratulate you on winning the Lottery.
Your voucher of 20 EUR can be redeemed at florist Günther.”

As you can see I am investing my fortune already: in gardening.

xxx

P.S.: Today’s shoes are H&M (Yeah SORRY,… I’m still a bitch on a budget…)