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Tag Archives: Getting ready

Talking Oscars

Talking Oscars

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It’s no secret that to win over the academy in the annual Oscar procedure you must a) play a part in a war movie (preferably WWII), b) gain or lose at least 15 pounds for the role, or c) bound and stretch for the miserable past (aka historic epic screen plays). Changing gender on screen helps too, and best if your role fits all of the above.

It was a feast this year to watch most of the actors nominated weaving their way drunk or outraged through 180 minutes, suffering the influence of drugs subscripted or just the cruelty of the non subscribed: ancient historic life. Guess Mr. Hanks is biting his fist now, regretting to only almost have drowned in water (SO NOT VODKA!), and Oprah just dialled Weight Watchers and\or her stylist to change her into a woman. Hmmmm...

Revelation of all this: Since Leonardo did not lose or gain weight for his role wallowing in vice (drugs, money, alcohol, sex), he will not get any statue tonight (again). But he couldn’t care less, he is probably having the most fun doing what he does on and off screen anyway: indulging in the company of a supermodel. I bet she wears gorgeous heels.

xxx
Today’s shoes are Dolce and Gabanna

Prepping for Cannes (part two)

Prepping for Cannes (part two)

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OK. Having obviously failed in preparing cute bikini figure by running (yeah, I know, should have subscribed to gym earlier this year, but rather than in shape, all I ever got there was a fungus…) I thought maybe should cover up cheesy skin with tan.

Knowing that it’s all about light and illusion, it seems like a good idea to achieve a darker hue, which will cheat over love handles, cellulite and spider veins.
No, spray tan is not an option: have had (and written about) enough orange in the past few days, and am sticking to things I know (from the 80ies I must confess): The sunbed.
So, how did it work exactly. You throw a coin in a machine, put on some ridiculous looking goggles, blue light turns on and instantly you are swimming in a sea of your own sweat while listening to bad tunes for 30 minutes, right?
Ah! And don’t forget to turn after half of your paid time, otherwise white stripes will ruthlessly reveal that you are probably a season ticket holder.

Oh shoot! Did I say white stripes?
Suddenly feel very much like an episode of “There is one hidden mistake in the picture - can you find it”. If you know what I mean, I will buy you a drink in Cannes. Wearing a full body condom.

xxx

Today’s shoes are Bruno Magli